How About We. . .
“Lets skirt the subject and put out tentative feelers and drop subtle hints until we’re drunk enough or bold enough. Cool?”
The typical line, “Hey, why don’t we go back to my place and watch a movie?” is unoriginal, over-used, and disgustingly effective. I believe it’s the most common “next move” step since the invention of television. It has the perfect storm for setting things up: a private, intimate setting; visual and audio distractions to use as a crutch rather than focusing on communicating. “Safe” small talk topics can be plentiful, and it can easily morph to serious conversation or. . . other stuff.
The disgusting part is any non-oblivious adult knows how to translate that question. A more truthful, but blunt, way would be:
“Hey, lets go back to my place and engage in some preliminary physical intimacy, ignore what ever is blaring from the idiot box, and grow more comfortable with our shared vibe. I’m hoping one of us gets enough courage to make the first move. Because I’m going out on a limb and asking you this, I’m trying to obliquely tell you that I hope we fuck later. Sound like a plan to you?”
Hypocritically, I admit that I’ve followed the script. Because, dammit, it’s safe–without opening yourself up for too much hurt if it’s rejected.
Still doesn’t mean I like it.
Filed under: opinion | 5 Comments
Tags: bullshit, coy, date, dating, passive, rant, televison, worn out crap
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Feel free to drop me an e-mail at normaldeviations@gmail.com.
Plus for those of us who are lazy – “Why don’t we go back to my place?” is a lot easier to say. ;)
Ha! That *is* one way of breaking the ice without resorting to passive-aggressive method. ;)
but what don’t you like about it? I have to admit, I’ve done the one plenty of times ‘would you like to come in for a coffee (fuck)’ and it’s always had the desired effect, even though I don’t drink (coffee or alcohol). After all, you get a movie AND sex!
There are a couple reasons I don’t like doing it. The rare occasion I’ve said that (sober) I always get really self-conscious and feel like it’s a line from a corny 70s porn movie. Okay, shake your finger at me but I actually like it when a girl has said that to me. Mostly because if I’m interested in her, it’s a nice validation to have her come out and ask that.
The other reason I don’t like it is it seems passive-aggressive. There’s some stubborn part of me that wants to just get it out in the open and be clear about it. (However, tried that once–disastrous results.)